If Your Schedule’s In Charge, Take Back the Reins!

Jennifer pushes back from her desk and walks her client to the door. She turns to look out the window at the blue sky swept with clouds. Inclined to take a deep breath, a sensation of a thousand threads strung and tightening in her chest divert her. “No time,” she thinks, dropping into her chair as she reaches for her schedule.

Her eyes settle on her next “to do,” not 5 minutes from her last client. The demand for efficiency and the drive for accomplishment kick in, and she rises and walks back to the door.

Fast forward to the end of the day, Jennifer feels drained as she gets in her car, regretting already that she does not have the energy to meet her family’s needs when she gets home. Driven all day by a full schedule, she still lacks a sense of accomplishment.

Change the name, work setting, position, and it is the story of folks all over the world. Because this reality is shared, it is easy to think that it is relatable, commiserate worthy, and normal; the plight all suffer, and that is how it is.

In seasons, individuals wake up to the strain of “the grind.” Efforts to escape it are, at best, inspired, but rarely permanently effective. The rare occasion that substantial change takes place seems a fluke, accomplished by “the lucky.”

What is your experience with feeling driven, out of energy, wishing to be rescued despite knowing it is only up to you to change? What has worked for you to bring about a different level of fulfillment?

It is easy to think nothing can change, and your efforts would be wasted. The first step is to know what to do with that feeling.

If you feel unsatisfied, it is a good thing. It means you are sensitive to the fact that there is something you would rather experience. Listen to your feelings. Write down what you sense you are wanting instead.

Then think through your “tomorrow.” What one thing can you do differently that can bring about that better thing you want, even if it is in an incremental way? You need to experience a win, even in part, in order to engage your own attention and actually make the change.

Write yourself a reminder of what you will do differently - on your bathroom mirror with dry erase markers or glass crayon. Before you go to sleep, imagine yourself succeeding in the change you are going to focus on.

Is there anything you need to learn in order to adjust your mindset or behavior? You could something small about what it is you need in order to enact your change.

Then, live your change, just one day, and evaluate.

Were there obstacles? How much did you succeed? How did it feel? Notice the question was not “did you succeed?” This is important - how much you succeed is a measure of your decision, preparation, and execution of the change - all very valuable wins, completely, or in part.

Count your wins, adjust your plan for the next day based on what you learned about yourself and the context in which you applied your change. Take another baby step toward a greater win the second time you try.

Like Jennifer, you may not be able to lighten your work load. What you can do, like her, is change how you prepare for your day, how you breathe between appointments, how you utilize your professional and personal support.

The key is creating a plan from what it is you actually want, and following through. Say good-bye to chaotic living, hello to enough control to experience authentic living.